Do you ever find yourself struggling to bring more buyers into your business?
Maybe you’ve found yourself saying… I don’t have enough clients, but my people aren’t responding to me…
They’re not commenting…
They’re not buying from me…
They don’t have any money…
Sound familiar? (I mean let’s get real, you’ve heard all the excuses, right?!)
Here’s the thing, anytime you catch yourself in a moment of judgment, you’ve just lost the opportunity to lead.
When we judge, we’ve lost the opportunity to move our people.
And you’ve lost the opportunity to be the cause for their breakthrough.
Think of the last time you were talking to your love partner and you expressed feelings of disappointment over something they did. Maybe something happened, they were on their phone too long, and you were feeling ignored or left out.
Whatever it was about, you expressed how you felt: your reaction to something they did. Then, their response maybe came in a form of justification.
I wasn’t doing that, I was doing this.
Your partner is just explaining their side of the story, but what else happens?
Maybe you feel dismissed, unheard, and not valued.
Now nobody’s happy.
I want you to think about your relationship with your partner in a similar way as what you’re creating with your audience.
When you make statements about them, you’re creating judgments on them and that creates disconnection, making it harder to get closer in your relationship.
While your feelings are valid – meaning your feelings are your feelings – your people still have their side of the story… and notice so do you… have a story or interpretation around their actions or lack of actions.
So…
If you want to lead people…
Start by loving on your people.
Have empathy for them. Be neutral. Pause to reflect on the stories you’ve created around their attitudes, actions, or abilities and come from a place of understanding and love. Recognize those are just the stories you created. It’s not true. It’s not reality. It’s simply your interpretation.
Ask yourself, What else could it mean that would be more empowering?
When you do this – operate a new care and curiosity for them and stand in the fire for them – you get to hear all their excuses of what’s getting in their way without adding an extra layer of your opinions or judgements around that.
Remember…you cannot lead people if you judge people.
If you accept your people where they are, you have the opportunity to lead them.
So here’s my challenge for you today…
Look into the last 30 days and truly ask yourself… where have I cast judgment?
This could be towards your clients, email list, social following or the people in your Facebook group.
It could be people you’re prospecting.
Or the people in your personal life.
Think about areas where you’ve cast judgment on someone’s actions, behaviors, emotional meltdowns, excuses… anything.
Once you have an example (or a few examples, in my case), examine it. What did they say or do, and what interpretations did you make about it?
What meaning did you attach to their words or behaviors?
Now, I want you to ask yourself another question… what else could it have meant?
You made an observation and then created a story, but what else could their words, actions, behaviors, or excuses have meant or not meant?
When you get an answer back, approach it. If this new, empowered meaning were true… what different actions would you take?
How would your response change?
Learning to separate circumstances (exactly what happened) from the meaning we attach to it (our thoughts and feelings about the circumstances) is an empowering thing…
And it helps you empower your people.
You were called to this work.
You were called to support your people and create transformation.
Isn’t it about time that you live fully in that calling?
How powerful would it be if you had the skill set to enroll people into action – no matter the circumstances, no matter what’s standing in their way – because you lead from a clean, neutral place of love?
Just think about what would be possible.
When you get a chance…reply back and tell me one area where you’ve found yourself in judgment.
Keep in mind there is a power and a release in sharing to someone else. This is your chance to do just that!
