I love to give thanks, appreciation, compliments, gifts and value to others.
But for those of us in the “givers” camp, it can sometimes feel like a ping pong game when it comes time to receive.
Last weekend I was offered an all expense trip paid to go to Calgary for the Juno Awards (Canadian music awards) from a friend. I hesitated. At first I thought I should pay my own way, or that I can’t accept such an offer. That’s when I realized what I was doing. I wasn’t allowing myself to receive, which is so common for us “givers.”
What’s interesting is that a child’s natural state is to be a receiver. It was needed for survival back in the primal days and it’s still an ingrained instinct for children.
So what changes?
We’re told as children to not be selfish or are made to feel wrong to enjoy receiving. So, we adapt.
How far down the path of believing it’s better to give than to receive are you? When somebody compliments you, do you stop and take it in or do you immediately bounce back with a compliment. Do you give too much of yourself to your friends, family, job or business and put yourself last?
What about questioning your worth and giving so much value away for free in order to prove yourself that you’ve put a metric tonne blockade in the way of you being able to receive financial rewards for your hard work?
Think of giving and receiving as circular flow in your life.
Based on the law of reciprocity, what you give (unconditionally) will come back to you, but only when you allow it to. If you only give to receive or you don’t allow yourself to receive at all, you’re blocking universal flow and eventually you’ll have nothing left to give.
Just think how your inability to receive can effect your finances or income. Your money flow comes to a screeching halt.
Another blocker is when you focus your attention on the lack of what you want instead of the feel good feelings of fulfillment that come with getting what you want. This again is evidence of not allowing yourself to receive.
You’ve heard it before, like attracts like, and so it shall be. So pay attention to how you may be re-creating the reality of what you do not want.
Receiving goes well beyond money and compliments. Think of your ability to receive joy, happiness, sexual pleasure, love, freedom, fun and all of the simple pleasures in life.
When do you allow yourself to receive all of life’s pleasures without any strings attached?
Ever catch yourself saying, “I will feel x, when I reach y.”
Or when someone compliments you on your shirt and you downplay it by saying you got it on sale.
Those are deflecting your flow and stopping you from allowing yourself to receive today. It also takes the pleasure away from the giver.
What if you could flip that around and open yourself up to take in and receive all the feel good feelings you want today?
Start small, take in a compliment without giving one back. Just say, “Thank you.”
Once you open up your channels to receive, you’ll open the loop to universal flow of abundance.
One of my favourite books, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, talks about this as being an upper limit that caps your glass ceiling on earnings and feeling good. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend that you get it now.
Have a great weekend and remember to enjoy the feel good feelings that come from receiving, no matter how small.