Say buh bye to stucks-ville

What you see lacking in yourself is often what others see as one of your greatest strengths.

You are your own worst critic.

I was having a conversation with a friend over the weekend. He’s been contemplating signing up for a biking race. I suggested that he just make a decision so he can either train for the event and put purpose into his training OR train for fun without any pressure and enjoy his summer rides just because.

As I dug a little deeper, I realized he was scared. There was fear underneath it all.

He was thinking to himself…

What if I sign up and I get killed by the other riders who are more prepared.

I’ll have to train harder and push myself. Ugh. Do I want to push myself that much?

If I sign up, I’m going to have to put in a lot more time training and my wife’s not gonna like that. My family will suffer.

I simply asked, “Do you want to do the race OR not?”

Silence.

I asked again.

Blank stare.

Oops, did I say something wrong?

I went on to share a story to explain the importance of making a decision and how sitting in indecision weighs on your mind, consumes your head and keeps you stuck. Stagnant. At a stand still.

Saying “no” is still a decision. And it’s ok.

And saying “yes” when you want to do something even if you’re scared is liberating. It allows you to move forward.

His response to me was…

“It’s easy for you to say. You’re never scared. You’re the most decisive person I know. You say what you think. You do what you say.

You almost drowned as a kid and to get over it you decided to do a 1/2 ironman triathlon (which starts with a 1.2-mile (1.9 km) swim followed by a bike ride and run) .

You changed careers after 15 years and started your own business. You quit college to invest in real estate. It’s easy for you to say.”

Wow! I was speechless.

He had no idea what it took for me to make those big decisions.

The fear.

The doubt.

The unknown.

The failed attempts.

Getting over my need for people pleasing, seeking outside validation and approval.

I swirled in all of that.

All this time, I’ve honestly felt that I’ve been consumed with fears.

Every single day I intentionally choose to move forward in spite of my fears .

It takes work.

On myself.

On my mind.

And my commitment to being true to me and what I want.

It doesn’t come without sacrifice or hard work.

Early mornings, late nights and even tears some days.

But I know that dreaming alone, without FULL commitment and action leads you to NOWHERE.

And making the decision is the hardest part.

Because once you make a decision, you cut off every other option.

You narrow your focus to that one end result.

You move forward.

But as long as you’re sitting there, thinking about it and dreaming about it. Nothing happens.

So what do you want? #unfiltered

Allow yourself to dream. Forget the how and just decide what YOU want.

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