Uh oh – I feel like a fraud

Lemme guess. You’ve felt like a fraud at times.

Maybe you’re just starting your business and you don’t feel you know enough yet to call yourself <insert new title here>.

Or maybe you signed your first paying clients and figure you must have just fluked out.

Or you’ve been making 5 figure months and still feel like you’re gonna get found out for being a fraud.

I get it.

Did you know there is a phenomena called imposter syndrome.

I’ve had my fair share of it.

Who am I to be  … <fill in the blank>.

It’s amazing how cruel we can be to ourselves.

You gotta give credit to the creativity of our mind to play tricks on us.

I want you to take a time out.

I want you to know that…

…you are enough

…you know enough

…you are beautiful just the way you are.

It’s time to set yourself up to win.

Sure, you’re never gonna be perfect.

You’re definitely going to screw up.

And, at times things are gonna get wonky, you’ll get thrown off your game and you will fall off track and sometimes flat on your face.

How do you get past that and keep building momentum so you can set yourself up to win?

By not being so rigid.

By not being so hard on yourself.

And by taking off the perfection mask (that looks lousy on you anyway – just sayin’).

In fairytale land, you create this picture perfect plan and holly hannah, you dream BIG.

You set out to get it.

You define how it should look.

And you hold tight to the “it must look this way.”

But by being that rigid with your plan, you’re leaving no breathing room.

Maybe you’re so tightly attached…

Hung up on the HOW…

And so intense about what you want, that you’re not leaving any space to feel like a success.

If you want to set yourself up to win, you’ve gotta let go.

I know it sounds counter intuitive.

But don’t put such strict rules on yourself.

I used to have milestones in my head that I HAD TO achieve before I would allow myself to feel successful.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but here are some of my old rules…

I will only be able to coach new business owners when I have successfully built my own business completely on my own (even though I’d previously helped build a 7 figure business).

I will only feel successful if I make $100k/year in my job before I’m 30.

I’ll only feel successful when I have $1Million in assets.

I will only feel like I’ve made it in my business when I make 5 figure months.

And so off I would go in pursuit of the next milestones, only to feel deflated when I fell short.

So that carrot of feeling successful dangled and dangled and kept moving just out of reach. I never gave myself permission to feel successful.

And then I would make it ever harder on myself.

So let’s say I wanted to make my first 5 figure month.

I would say, this must come from my launch. I must sell 10 x $997 to meet my goal. This blocked me from even seeing the potential opportunities I had to make that $10k in other ways.

If you’re going to win, if you’re going to ever feel like a success, you’ve got to be able to reward yourself for just getting things done in the beginning. With the belief that done-is better-than-perfect. And approximately right, is good enough, because at least that way you’re building momentum and moving forward.

You get out from planning and you get into the doing.

You diffuse the feeling of being a fraud by moving forward.

And so what. You fall down.

You fail.

Sometimes miserably.

Surely you’ll make mistakes.

But every moment you get wiser. That “not good enough” feeling dissolves away, and you get to celebrate movement.

Movement is about learning.

Trying new things.

Taking action in spite of fear.

Learning always starts at ground zero. The beginning.

And it’s never pretty on your first try.

I remember doing a learn to run program.

I had to run for 1 minute and walk for 2.

I started off that 1 minute like a rockstar. But by 30 seconds I was gasping for air.

It wasn’t pretty.

But I stuck with it.

And within 3 months I did a 10k (6 mile) race.

And a few months after that, I ran my first marathon.

Had I judged myself at the beginning on how well I could run a marathon, I’d have fallen flat on my face with no HOPE.

So if you have to do things perfectly otherwise you beat yourself up, then your brain’s gonna jump in and say “STOP! Why bother? Why even try? I don’t want to feel like a dang failure!”

So build in milestones to celebrate along the way.

And enjoy the journey, not just the final destination.

Celebrate that first unearthed desire to do something BIG.

Celebrate fumbling when someone asks you what you do and the perfect answers flows out of your mouth.

Celebrate your first business related post that you didn’t delete.

Celebrate your first paying client.

Celebrate your courage to get on a livestream – even for just 30 seconds.

Celebrate your first launch – even if you only had 1 buyer.

Celebrate your big wins, but celebrate your movement.

You don’t need to pretend to be someone else.

You don’t need to pretend to be further along than you are.

You don’t need to WAIT to feel successful.

I reached all of those milestones that I shared with you earlier because I knew, no matter what, I would get there and I never gave up.

I felt like a fraud.

I beat myself up.

I shed happy tears of celebration as well as tears of frustration.

But no matter what, I stayed the course when I felt like giving up.

And I celebrated those little wins like nobody’s business when I finally let go of the need to be perfect.

When I let go of comparing.

And instead set myself up to win.

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